I recently heard of a job opportunity at the local O2, mobile phone shop. Being in need of a job I decided to jump at the opportunity and contacted the store right away; as advised by a friend.
I walked into the branch and simply asked; “do you have any jobs going?”. As expected I was greeted with a “yes, two jobs actually”. Wonderful, things were running smoothly already.
It was here however that I was to meet one of my newly adopted ‘pet-hates’: Online job applications.
to apply for the job, I was told, one must go to the company’s website. Once there, locate the suspiciously small ‘jobs’ button and proceed.
The jobs section then introduced itself as a jumbled mess of O2 bubbles and the words ‘opportunity’ and ‘great’ like something out of a Derren Brown presentation.
Never mind, I thought to myself. I am, as they say, computer savvy, this website should be a veritable walk in the park.
After entering my e-mail address, and more information than even MI5 might find a use for I was there, the O2 jobs bit! Now to find that job in Winchester.
After some rather thorough searching I concluded that the job advertisement in question was something of a Houdini. No worry, I had been warned of this characteristic of the site. Luckily I had been well armed with a telephone number for the store. The time felt right to ring it-and that’s just what I did.
“Hello, O2 Winchester” spoke an uninspired voice. “Hello O2 Winchester, can I speak with (insert name of manager)”. As if by magic, there was the man I had spoken with only yesterday. I explained how his previous prediction of the job disappearing from the site was correct and asked how I may apply. He assured me this was normal and prompted me to await a call from him within a couple of days.
Content in the knowledge I was one of two people applying for two jobs, my maths confirmed that I was in a positive position to acquire a job.
The days came and passed, but my phone stayed quiet. It was time to give them call number two. Of course I was told that they were busy and I can definitely expect a call in two days time. Phew, that’s ok then.
Again, two nights passed and I was sat with a quiet phone again, I even waited two more days, nothing. I assumed a lack of phones in the store was unlikely to be the problem.
Maybe they just didn’t like me, this is one of those times mother had warned me about; time to sneak off quietly.
Alas a month had passed, my friend came with news of an O2 job, on the website! Sod it, I was going to go for it all out this time. I applied.
Cue the application questions: name something you’re proud of, how have you persuaded someone to come round to your way of thinking, what was your first dog’s name???
With deep breaths and a steady typing hand I braved the gauntlet and emerged at the other end with a e-mail thanking me for my application.
Only a day later, with un-characteristic urgency I received an e-mail prompting me to book a telephone interview.
A telephone interview? I beg your pardon. Whatever is a telephone interview, what ever happened to a good old fashioned face to face interview? bemused and intrigued in equal measure I booked myself an interview, 11 o’clock Tuesday.
Now, bearing in mind that I was applying for a part-time position, I was ill-prepared for the torrent of probing questions I was to be hit with.
The lady at the other end of the phone, and by the sound of it, the other end of the country introduced herself and the interview with military precision and a voice that could bend spoons. I certainly had the fear.
Apparently O2 need to know, in minute detail, ‘one of my proudest achievements’. Deciding being born was probably an unsuitable answer I went for my work to secure a university newspaper with a local publisher. I must admit, I consider this a rather nice achievement however Miss Hitler on the phone was not impressed.
I am a reasonable person, and I can see why an interview must be both uncomfortable and probing in order for the interviewer to see as much of the character of the subject in as short a time as possible.
I was relieved when I was told I had ‘passed’ this stage of the interview process. The relief was short lived as Miss Hitler machine gunned a list of ‘things i could improve on’.
Now, she explained, we must book you in for a face to face interview where I must talk to someone about four of my ‘proudest achievements’. It would seem achievements sell phones these days. I was told to expect an e-mail explaining the process in detail and some forms to print off and take with me.
Later that day I decided to withdraw my application due to securing a much better job in London. Good thing really, I recieved the e-mail this morning, a day later than my interview was due to take place.
This concludes my expose of the ‘Mickey Mouse Operation’ that is the O2 recruitment service. Considering I was going for a part time job, what must be required of a full-timer? One might assume a CV of past achievement so great that they are vastly over qualified, and a week at O2 boot camp, where Miss Hitler herself gets to wake you at the crack of sparrow fart and tell you just how crap you are.
A process which should take a matter of days turned into a web of half truths and lazy management of a recruitment system.
This O2 will only make you choke.
Posted by pw310 
